Is That Your Final Answer?

Or, as we say in Malaysia...

Jawapan Muktamad?

When somebody graduates, he or she is inevitably put through a number of feelings and decisions that are of a rather novel flavour. They are also not to be taken lightly. 

Another rite of passage.

I got a proper job offer yesterday, and I'll be taking it up. 

Temporary Kampar-ing

Here I am, back again for a while. I have a few presentations to make, an interview to go for, and things to discuss with some people.

I really need shades if the highway is going to be as glaring as it was today. Had to squint for about 200km, and now I'm not feeling that great. Nothing a good night of rest won't cure!

A little I will be here before I leave, and after a little while, I'll be back for a little longer than a while. And then I'll be off again - to who knows where?

So long as I (we) stay humble and stay hungry, I know that I (we) will be okay. Don't you think so?

3 Weddings and a Funeral

Recently, my church in Melaka has been all abuzz in anticipation of a hat-trick of weddings for 2012 in June, September and November. The wedding in June is my sister's whereas I'm well acquainted with the other two couples too. It's hard not to be, when you're in Melaka Gospel Chapel :)

However, there was one chain of events that we had to prepare and help out in first, which were Uncle Beng Tee's funeral and wake services. 

Taken and cropped from Uncle Rodney's Facebook

Unlike the weddings, these were not checked into the calendar a year in advance, but in our hearts, we knew this day would come sooner rather than later. When I think about it, I reckon its scale was no less grand than that of any of the upcoming weddings. In fact, even though the wedding dates are yet to arrive, I dare say the beauty of Uncle's farewell would be hard to match. 

Due to the fact that the early years of my life coincided with the twilight of his, I never really got to know Uncle Beng well in any way. That being said, this did not stop him from having made an imprint on my life. It's a long story for another day, but he probably didn't realize that certain things he did and words he said has firmly planted in me the importance of reverence for God. 

I'm glad that I had the chance to help out in the wake services and the funeral, in whatever little ways I could. It meant that I was there for every minute and I got to listen to everything.

I'm grateful that I managed to hear so many stories about him. I'm a storyteller myself, and for what it's worth, I can preserve such stories of faithfulness to encourage future generations. 

It makes sense that the passing of our Elder would give the whole church family one big push in the right direction. Faithfulness, long-suffering and persevering servanthood!

May all who come behind us find us faithful, too.

Schrödinger's Teacher

The night before my first day as a teacher in MIS, 3 months ago, I wrote this in my journal:

“Some people remark that they think I will be a good teacher. Some people say that I will be awesome. Some said that I probably won’t do well and some says it’ll just be plain weird.

Be it positive or negative, such comments are immaterial. The true measure of my ability lies in what takes place in those classrooms that I step into tomorrow. For the meantime, I can be considered both a good teacher, and a bad teacher – whatever! Call me Schrodinger’sTeacher ”

3 months on, I find that my resolve is still the same as when I started out – to keep my head low, work hard, and concentrate on how I can do better for these kiddos.

I have now come to the unofficial “end” of my term in Melaka International School. My students from Y7-Y10 have bid me farewell. There has been gifts, cards and a cake – all of which I will remember well, just as I will remember each student.  We’ve taken out farewell photos. My departure has already been officially announced.  

Typically, it is at such a point that I would prefer to leave altogether; I do not like drawn-out farewells. However, I do still have to give a week’s worth of extra classes to prep the Y11 students for their upcoming ‘O’ level examinations.

Some of my Y11 students, taking their 'O' levels in June.

What can I say about the past 3 months? I learned a lot about teaching and even more about life. About parents (and parenting), working life, students, administrative things… you name it.

I will say this though, after 3 months, the jury’s still out on what kind of teacher I will be. The school, my colleagues and most of the students have been very generous in their appraisal, but I know the holes in my approach better than most.

I'm aware that there are ways I have to improve.. It’s not so much a matter of pedagogy as it is of the kind of composure and mentality I can bring to the classroom. When your method is consistently okay, it’s your manner that makes or breaks learning and teaching.

A few of my Y10 students. What a diverse bunch!

Thank you MIS! For the sake of whoever my students are one day, I hope to be the best teacher I can be.  If I ever be become an excellent teacher, it will not have been possible without the chance I had to serve in your school.


p.s. The photos were taken during the final week of school, when many students already returned to their home countries - not that I only wanted to take photos with a few :P

80%.... 90%.... 99%.... Ding!

I printed out the comb-bound version of my FYP yesterday and my dad had it courier-ed to my supervisor in Kampar.

Beam of light passing through the project - must be a good sign.

In a typically understated manner, I celebrated by walking into the Italy Bakery opposite the printing shop and getting myself a chicken onion bun. Mmmmm… so good..

FYPs are one of those big things in university life; some kind of milestone or rite of passage. Walk on the fiery coals of research and the chief gives you your shiny degree.

People who are doing it will complain. Students who are yet to do it will view it with trepidation, and those who have just finished it will jump for joy, before something else happens, which I will explain later.

Not that I want to make the FYP a bigger deal than it really is. It’s all a matter of perspective. I’ve learned a lot of things in the course of the FYP, one of which is just how big the edifice of academia really is. That is very humbling, and makes study all the more worthwhile. Why not chip some ice off the iceberg of ignorance?

Hmm.

I’ve a problem though. I think I may be having post-FYP syndrome, now that I’m in the post-FYP stage. After accomplishing one of the big goals that have been bugging me for such a long time, I think my drive has evaporated. It’s not a good thing. It doesn’t help that I know my future does not lie in my current workplace either - my mind is ever on Kampar and the work that waits me there.

I still got a month of teaching to go, and I owe it to the students to run really good lessons and evaluate their work thoroughly – whether or not they want it or not.

Well, what can I do about it? I really need to sit still, evaluate my motivations and do this job the best I can. Nobody’s going to praise God for a lazy teacher.

More on the teaching experience next time!

20/12/11

There are many kinds of sad - some are good, not all are bad :')

It's been a great 2.5 years in Kampar. After so many farewells, both in groups and with dear individuals, it's finally dawning on me that I'm leaving.

What can I write which may contain the breadth and depth of what I've been feeling, thinking, doing, witnessing and experiencing in these past few weeks, let alone the last 30 months?

Maybe I can explain how I feel. I feel a bit sad, and very moved. I also feel very humbled. A lot of great things have happened here in Kampar - and although one might say that I was deeply involved and active in these things, here at the end I feel more like I have been a spectator. I am a witness of the work of God. A servant also. That is all.

Maybe I should also talk about my thoughts for the future. Nothing's certain, but I have a lot of reassurance, a lot of hope and a lot of confidence that things will work out for the good.

And I pray that my brethren can also share in this hope.

Another adventure! And the hope of joyous reunion :)

Partnering Up

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I  always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.

Apostle Paul, Philippians 1:3-5

I've been thinking about partnership recently. Have you, like me, ever wondered about the relationship between the work of God and the work of a man of God? Is there a line between these two, and is it drawn? Are we, by using our effort and intelligence, trying to do God's work on our own? Perhaps we should just confine ourselves to a room all the time and pray that God will act directly in the world. Wouldn't that be great faith? 

I think the key here is the idea of partnership, where the work of God and the work of Man has a symbiotic and harmonious relationship, under the good graces of God. 

The truth that we are made partners and fellow co-workers (1 Corinthians 3:9) is a staggering one that may be hard to take at first. How can we do the work of God when we are such silly little beings?  The Almighty God, creator of the universe, being in partnership with us?

But when we understand that God is working through us and Christ is living in us, then a lot of things make sense, and the tension disappears. What we thought was a boundary line is in fact overlapping circles, having been reconciled to God through Christ. This partnership paradigm is crucial for a Christian, and it has a great bearing on how we treat things.

We are partners with God in the Gospel. That is amazing, that we have some part in spreading the news about Christ's salvation for all. 

We are partners with God in our friendships, too. As a friend, I must seek to strengthen and build up my friends in a way that is in line with God's will. In other words, great reliance on God and alignment with the teachings of Jesus. God can do this on His own, but He lets us be partners and take part in it too. God is never out of the picture in true friendships- indeed, He is in the very center of it.

We are partners with God in our Relationships (with a capital 'R'), too. With God's express permission, we enter into an exclusive and special relationship with another person, and we take upon ourselves a shared responsibility - over the other person's welfare: emotional, spiritual, physical or otherwise. And the other person does the same for us. Truthfully, these things are God's "territory", but He lets us to take part in it too. It is a great honour and should not be treated lightly. 

God is never out of the picture in a Christian relationship - indeed, He is in the very center of it. As a couple's relationship is strengthened, so is their relationship with Christ, because they know that they are partners with God in this. They understand very well that they do not replace God in their partner's hearts. Even as they look to each other's needs, they recognize that God is the ultimate supplier and enabler of all things. 

Whatever things work out for good will be lifted up in thanks.

I think it's crucial to remember that we partners in God in the things we do and the relationships we have. If we remember this, then we'll save ourselves from making many of the irresponsible and silly things that we do. God is in the business of redeeming and building up His children - as partners with Him, we should not be tearing others down through our actions and words, as many are unwittingly doing. God alone deserves all worship - as partners with Him, we should not be eliciting 'worship' from others (few will admit to this crime).

Repent. 

Just a few of my other partners 

Do you want to partner up with God? Let me know if you do - lots of steps to take first before you can do so.. and my blogposts are too long as it is hehe.