IIR 2010

Hah.. 6 days after the race, I now got a winkling of time to post something about the past race.

IIR stands for Ipoh International Run, which about 15 friends and I took part in on the 18th of July. Among my contact list, Kelvin Wong and Jensen Chen are two of them.

Well I don't really feel like blogging about the run anymore, mainly because I already did a write-up for our running club website: Team Miracle Mile!

Once the website's worked things out I'll post the link here eheh heh heh.

Life has been pretty hectic recently, at least by my standards (it may not be considered hectic to people who are better organised). I need to orrrrgannise myself pleassse.

Spend every moment knowing that I can use it for the glory of the Almighty.

And so here I go! Wish me the best!

Hanging over

I feel... a bit funny. I think it's post World Cup syndrome.

And it ended in such anti-climatic fashion too, Spain pulling off their magic again? Not really. was it 7 goals for the whole tournament? 8? Nobody's counting.

Still, the World Cup is the World Cup - everybody coming together to watch the action, the drama.. all that stuff. In a way I'm glad it's over though, it is seriously not good for anybody to sleep at 530am more than once in a blue moon. Totally screwing with the internal clock.

So maybe that's what's bothering me. I feel weird and restless and lazy. Good thing Ipoh International Run is coming up, I'm gonna have to train and maybe perk myself up.

Lifestyle, lifestyle!

There is a Mountain

I want to be a teacher, true story!

Recently I was having the "So what do you want to do after uni?" chat with a freshie and she remarked: "Wow, I've never met anyone who wants to become a teacher like how you do!" with a big smile.

Yeap, I want to teach. And I get excited when thinking about it and can't wait. (Experienced teachers tell me not to get overly excited, and to enjoy my uni life as much as possible - I think they're right)

The thing is, I guess I've never really been a purpose driven person. Prior to beginning my uni life I've been a floater of epic proportions. It doesn't help that I studied Knowledge & Inquiry and Literature. Abstract concepts seem to occupy such a significant part of my psyche that I always to delay or procrastinate the nitty gritty stuff, like paperwork, applications and the ilk. This is one part of my life that seriously need to grow too - I don't think I'll be of much use ruminating on an armchair. Meanwhile, the thing I've decided on is to be as useful as possible to needy people (as a teacher).

In other words I need to learn to bite myself and sit down and really grind out work whenever I have to - I'm incredibly weak in this, while some people already know how to do this from the age of 12 or whatever.

Important that may be, but it's not the main point of this post.

I want to teach in Malaysia, seriously. Because I think there's such a need. It makes more sense to want to be useful where the need is greater - simply because I guess it's a good way to think, and if everybody thought that way instead of pursuing the path of greatest pleasure, maybe the world would be a better place. That being said, I suppose in a way I AM pursuing the path of greatest pleasure, because I can't really think of anything that gives me more pleasure than the idea that I'm being useful in empowering other people. The way I see it, absolute altruism is unachievable, but the best thing people can do is marry their interests with the good of others, such that their 'selfishness' also brings about positive change.

This is the selfishness that I profess, when the happiness of others is mine as well. I say this as an ideal of course, even though it's more achievable than altruism, it is still unbelievably tough to achieve. All I hope for is that day by day I slowly bridge the gap between my words and my true conduct, which is pretty wide.

Now, having said that, I'm brought to the concluding point of this post. When my friend said what she said to me, I realised that I must sound extremely enthusiastic, and I am! But I'm not blind to the fact that it's gonna be tough. There are just so many systemic weaknesses to our education system - stumbling blocks that have left us far behind Singapore (not that they're the best or that there aren't better examples around, just that I've got 4 years of experience there so I have the right to make comparisons). I'm not just going to finger the system, but I suppose teaching in itself will be really tough.

Moody as I am, I know I will get depressed, discouraged (prematurely), lazy or whatever. I might lose my passion from time to time. But passion and commitment are two different things - commitment is not a matter of emotions but character. And character is something that anyone can cultivate and access. So I'll have to rely on strength of character.

Of course, I have my family. I have my friends. I have God. Most of all, I have the realization that I need all of them to pull through.

I'm not on my own.

The Boss

"Those in a position of authority define the world from their perspective."

So it's no surprise that at any level of leadership, leaders run a risk of falling out of touch with reality. Extreme case would be those crazy dictators who managed to persuade themselves that they are demi-Gods. (The list includes Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot... you know, those guys)

Now the point is why the heck am I posting this? Trying to sound chim? Or just to fill up an empty blog?

We need to remind ourselves. I saw the above line in a sociolinguistics book and I took it as a reminder to myself too, since I am somewhat in a position of authority. It is so incredibly easy to fall into a solipsistic (google solipsism) world view as a leader - so easy that it scares me and I need to ask myself if I'm doing things in the best interest of every brother and sister, and of course, in line with exactly what God wants me to do.

A narrow-minded head defeats the very purpose of having a leader. What? Leadership is just supposed to be something to add to your CV so you can get a job right? Or leadership is a great way for people without musical or performing arts talent to be able to get center stage and feed their self-esteem right?

WRONG! Leadership is a service and this is the basic premise of this whole post. If you fundamentally disagree, you can stop reading now. Leadership is not so much a privilege as it is a duty - a willing sacrifice of one's own time to be a focal point for the activities of a group. Leadership is also necessary. Even in my church where an equal priesthood of believers is emphasized, there are still those who have to assume leadership, simply because this is how we have to function as long as we're still in this world.

For a Christian, the Wrong in being a self-centered leader is perhaps even more severe than that of the secular. This is because it contradicts directly with the basic principles of humility, openness and care that are inherent in our belief system.

But then hor, we're human what. We can't help it if we fall into the trap of self-delusion to varying degrees. That's true.

So what we need is to have people who can check us, scold us and whack us if necessary. I desperately want my dearest friends to do this. For me to be scolded and to feel hurt by criticism is nothing compared to the cost of remaining ignorant of my wrongdoings or my failings, insofar as these are things that can and ought to be corrected.

There is God, of course, who can, through many ways choose to reprimand me. Thank God for that. Thank God for God? Hmm.

So, my friends, please?

Change underwear

Okay friend Kannan just asked me why I deleted all the posts - while I've talked to him on msn already I thought it would make sense to explain why I decided to change things up.

Ah basically I'd like to stick to just blogging about ideas and take personal life out of it. I've heard many people talking about what other people write on their blogs (especially recently) and I just find it rather disturbing as in you have no idea who'll be reading your blog because basically anyone can.

But at the same time, this characteristic of blogging is just what makes it a good place to talk about ideas! Occasionally, I have something good to say that I think is good for people to think about, so you can expect more of this from here.

Yes, expect more posts up in the near future (:

I like

This is my dog. His name is Pippin. Quite handsome right. He's my buddy. Even though we don't get to see each other very often since I'm away from home he's always really happy to see me come home. I think it might be because I talk with him a lot. My big sister likes to go talk to him too but she's not around that much so.

Hmm. Anyway this post isn't about him. This post is about animals.

I like animals you know. And yesterday I saw this dog and tried to make friends. It walked away from me at first (Bitch! haha) but then later it came back to let me just ngusap its head. Then today I saw this cat lying along the walkway near the Block C cafeteria and it let me rub it's head too.

I like animals. Yeah. And more than other people I think, I'm not drawn to them just cos like they're cute or anything. (*Cue shrieking girls, Eek eek*) I do la but more than that I like going up to them and looking into their eyes and seeing how they move around or react to us. It's nice because it's so.. different?

I think animals are straightforward. They don't have to think about complicated stuff or think about whether they look nice or whatever people think of them when we pass by or any of the other million superfluous things that pass through our minds all the time.

Yeah so it's nice to be with them, I think it helps untangle the snarls in my mind, and there are plenty. Hmmh. What d'you think?

I wandered lonely as a cloud

After all these months, I don't even know what I'm thinking, posting this now. Yup I know I'm rushing deadlines, but today as I was eating dinner, I looked to the sky and time stood still.

The clouds looked really nice. I didn't have a nice camera so yeah I just grabbed this off the internet. The clouds i saw today looked nicer than this.

Anyway clouds are amazing. It was a still day so there wasn't much wind, and at times like that, the clouds just look so amazingly solid. We know that theyre not actually solid but from down here it just looks so still, bright and opaque at the same time.

I wonder what a cloud would feel, if it could feel - floating up there way and watching all these creatures, great and small, scurrying around with their daily business. Would it wish to be like us, or will it feel sorry for us, or will it just not care at all. At any rate, I wonder what it would feel like to be a cloud.