It's always a little unreal to be back. I always get this feeling like I haven't been back in a long time. It's an awkward confluence of both the familiar and the alien - I somehow feel that I am a stranger, but a stranger in a place that is steeped with memories and connections. And after a short while of floating in a distance, I settle back into those familiar memories and connections - and I'm home again.
The truth is that I've been here a mere 3 weeks ago during study break, but as I always say, our experience of time is not simply a matter of the passing of seasons or of hours or of days - it is also a matter of what happens within that physical span of time.
A significant three weeks? Why, certainly. I grappled with exams and tried (and to a large extent failed) to focus with the kind of concentration that I aspire to. I presented all my worries, anxieties, cares and supplications to Him. I grew much closer in my walk with many of the brethren here. I grew to rely on Him all the more, and He chose to reveal to me more about the kind of man He wants me to be - not simply a collection of abstract principles but a concrete manifestation of these ideals.
There was the committee retreat, where I decided to never again back down from confronting our problems. I will pray, think, talk, discuss and ACT upon them. We cannot let this slide. When you see the smoke, do not say that there is no fire - look for it and put it out, because the fire burns the tree which is the family of God, and that is far too precious to me and to us and most of all, to Him.
So yes, in a few hours, I will settle down again into the familiarity of Home, but this time, it is Home with a difference, that I am here to make myself different for Him. Can I walk closer with Him in the next 11 days, and in doing so be genuinely nearer to being a true man of God?
I commit myself to persevering in His word, and in doing so, may I bear fruit that is pleasing in His eyes. Please pray for me.
"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
And there it is, I see it and understand.
Derky!! All the best in achieving your Behavioral Objectives! =D I'm sure if you've put your mind to it, with God's help, your hols would be a fruitful one =D And you'll be awesome when the time comes!
ReplyDeleteDerk, very very encouraging to hear this and u can be assured my prayers will accompany you as you desire this. And I myself am challenged too!
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