What I Know

There are a lot of things in my life that are better than who I am, and better than what I deserve.

What I mean is that there are things I am called to do and people I am called to love. And love is a beautiful thing because it is an immaculate quality that is accessible to us although we are flawed and broken.

It is sometimes hard to keep a handle on who I am, for one thing because people say different things. My employers, friends, church, family. They probably ALL have some truth in them. Human beings are both as simple as spaghetti and as complicated as string theory.

But I do have a handle on how God sees me, and that I am loved unconditionally. That is something I understand as a child.

And both the fact that I am loved unconditionally, and that there are those I WANT to love unconditionally as a result, gives me a firm grasp on the man I want to be.

Give me some time, and watch me!

For What It's Worth

Things at Westlake International School have been moving so fast of late that it has been hard to keep track of milestones, and even just be still and digest what we've been going experiencing.

It is a great wonder to see the team expanding. We have quite an ensemble - different talents, personalities and experiences. That being said, we are bound together by the pursuit of something greater than who we are on our own.

There is full of broken things, but to me, few feel as desperate as the world of education. This is probably because the ideal of what education ought to be has long carved itself unto my heart, and is continuing to grow into something more beautiful and comprehensive as I mature. I have a long road ahead.

My colleagues are all bringing in things too - really good things. Pioneering is a once in a lifetime job to stamp something positive, meaningful and inshallah, lasting. These people care about kids and want it done well. I am in good company, and I should learn.

I wonder if we realize the magnitude of what we're doing?

Even as I work, I know that I have to acquit myself worthily before the kids, parents, teammates and employers.
I know that I want to make my family and friends proud.

That being said, I also know that technically, I perform just before an audience of One. And that, I think, will keep me going even when the going gets tough, and boy do I have a tough patch coming up!

This calling is beyond me.

Kindness and a Kind of Radiance

Everybody’s different.

If I had to pinpoint just one thing that moves me the most in this world, it is probably kindness.

I try not to pass judgment on a person, because I know my own discernment is always finite – sometimes more, sometimes less. However, we inevitably do have opinions of people – and personally, I observe that my opinions of others generally stands or falls depending on whether I perceive them to be kind.

I really like kind people. A lot. On the other hand, anyone who is blatantly unkind to others, even if not to me directly, will, at best, be an amiable acquaintance.

What I mean by ‘kindness’ is this – having more regard and care for the broken, the lost and the "seemingly unattractive" than for the beautiful, charming and outstanding. 

It is one of the natural rhythms of life that human beings gravitate towards those who display positivity, confidence, beauty and strength. Anybody can do that.

Hence, the kindness I talk about is almost unnatural. Maybe supernatural is a better term.

What about myself? On my part, I am no kind person. I know that.

Yet, at the same time, and I say this not to boast but to make a point, I do have a regard and care for the broken and the lost. How do I explain this?

I think the reason why an unkind and impatient person like myself can be kind is because I recognize myself as a rather broken and lost person. In fact, we probably all are, but in different degrees. I don’t know, but I am sure my own brokenness helps me identify with others.

There are plenty of unkind people like me whose kindness arises from an acute awareness of our own weakness. Maybe we are like lepers who wash each others’ wounds and change each others’ bandages, if you don’t find the image degrading. I don’t.

Then there are those who (it seems to me) are just innately compassionate, to whom kindness just seems like the default approach. These people walk around, enveloped with an unmistakable radiance which I hope to catch a little of, and maybe use to brighten up some dark places in the world, and some dark corners of my heart.

Maybe they are in fact like me, just that I don’t know it. Whatever it is, they sure do seem bright and shiny. I would to God that there were more of them.

“Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the light of the world: he that follows me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.’”

Thank God.